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Vivid Tells All

As transcribed by the master;  I’m a dog you know so I can’t type.  So here’s my story about what happened yesterday.  Sincerely, Vivid – the Jack Russell Terrier

The household is up very early. The big human let us out.  They’re both drinking coffee from a silver mug, a travel mug; this means they’re leaving.  They did. They put on their cold weather clothes and gathered up their keys and the black thing my master has on her arm, looks like a purse. They’re gone. Later after I’ve rolled myself in a ball and slept on the couch with sweet dreams, they returned. The red truck has all kinds of woody things sticking out the back.

This time they’re rushing around cleaning things. My master is pointing to the other human, the one that Shiner likes and I just tolerate, and she’s telling him to do certain chores that she’s not doing. He’s making a face while my master rolls her eyes. He disappears for awhile and returns with an oily stink on his hands.

My master points out some more chores and this time he rolls his eyes and she makes a swirly sign around her ear.  Not exactly sure what that meant, but surely it was provocative because my master is grumbling under her breath. The big master isn’t privy to what’s she saying, but I am and because of my superior hearing, I know it isn’t good.  My master is in the bathroom tending to her hair and makeup, putting on the black stuff on her eyelashes.  Strange, I have white eyelashes and I’ve never had black grease put on my lashes.  Humans are so weird.

Two new humans show up, two females to be exact.  We jump up and down and bark, next thing I know I’m in the office with the door shut and Shiner is with me. We both stare at the door but it doesn’t open up.  Next, five more humans show up and they’re all talking and yakking it up at the same time. Can’t see what’s happening but for sure something is going on.  My master comes out of the living room and we can hear her greeting the five humans with laughter and shuffling. Must be hugging or something like that.  Why don’t I get the hug from my master, she’s mine. Then all the noise stops and the door shuts on the front of the house, and all we can hear are muffled sounds and stuff being moved around in the living room. We settle down in the open luggage sitting on the floor and wait it out. This is kind of strange for us dogs because we’re usually in the thick of things and for some reason we’ve been removed from the fun.

Next thing the five humans show back up with my master’s master.  They all gather in the family room sitting on my couch, I’m sure.  That goes on for at least 20 minutes.  I bark.  The big master lets me in the living room. Not Shiner, he has no manners.  I scurry into the living room to check out what is going on in there with my master.  She’s talking to the five humans who seem to be very interested in the things that look like rocks shaped like horses and elephants and the circus wagon thing. They’re taking pictures and yakking it up.

I’m looking up at my master and getting under her feet. Next thing she does is push me with her foot I guess so she won’t step on me, although I’m making it real difficult for her to not step on my toes.  If that happens for sure she’ll pick me up.  Ah, yes, she does almost step on my toe and I yip, she reaches down and gathers me up. And the next thing I find all the humans leaving, one of them is writing on a little piece of paper and handing it to my master.  She seems to be pleased. Then, the noisy bunch all leave. I’m trying to be sticky like a burr; I don’t want her to put me back on the floor because I’m getting a high view of what they’re doing. My master stoops down and puts me on the floor and before I can go one direction or the other I’m asked to go out by the big master. I happily go outside ready to play pull toy.  He tricks me into going to the truck for a ride.  It wasn’t a ride he had in mind; he was getting me out of the house completely!!! Guess those extra humans don’t like the noise we two dogs are making. I didn’t know Shiner had been already put in the truck in the crate!  We were left in the cold truck and couldn’t hear the entire goings on in the living room. I guess they didn’t appreciate my dog protection ability and the barking at the door part of the package.  We wait for the longest time. It’s really getting cold out here, although there was a real nice plaid coat I settled down in for the duration and waited.

Next thing we know, the big master has come to the door of the truck and I was so happy to see him.  He lifted me out of the truck, I’m getting old and my Jack Russell ways have been dimensioned a bit. We go to the house and this time the door to the living room is open.  I bound into the room and Shiner follows.  They have black square things all over the room. I didn’t notice that before when I was in the room checking out all of the inhabitants. They had spindly legs on them and they seemed to be pointing at a chair sitting by itself in the room. Huge lighted things with egg crate things over them.  My master has lipstick on now. That’s strange, she doesn’t wear that often or next to never.  They were near the big banquet table they all ate Thanksgiving dinner a few days ago, oh maybe a week or so ago.  Guess it doesn’t matter does it this time thing?  Anyway, the two extra humans start putting all kinds of things in black boxes and they’re laughing a bunch.  Don’t know what’s so funny but there must be something amusing going on.  Next thing I see my master take off her fancy scarf and the wire that they’ve attached to her.

All of a sudden, the two masters get their keys and take off out the door, after we’re shoved back into the office again.  This time it’s not fancy clothes, it’s their “barn” clothes.  I know that because they smell like a “horse”. Then they come back again, with all kinds of wonderful perfumery that says hay and oats and molasses.  I wonder if they eat that stuff too because they have it on them every day.  Next thing they take off the odorous clothes and boots and then they hug both the extra humans and leave.

The extra humans are still busy putting all their stuff in the black boxes.  Then they leave, but not without scratching me on the chin. We’ve been stationed in the kitchen and family room part of the house and not allowed in the living room because we might escape to the outdoors while they open the big door.  Shiner would take off and play his catch me game; something that makes both our big and number one masters really mad. We hear giggling outside and the white car drives off.

Later the two masters come back all smelling of a mushroom hamburger and French dip sandwich. Must have had garlic on the fries. The two masters didn’t bring us a doggie bag with human food in it. So all in all it was a pretty uneventful day for us dogs.